This week’s 7 Word Challenge was inspired by (plagiarism is such an ugly word don’t you think?) a ‘funny’ posted on the always amusing Mum’s Lounge Gschmacebook page entitled ‘Five deadly terms by a woman’. I have commandeered it, stretched it, twisted it and generally manipulated it for my own nefarious ends, namely the murdering of the beautiful Spanish language online and in full view of you, Joe Blogs.
Thanks Mum’s Lounge. And now Bibsey mardily presents:
7 Killer Lines from The Grumpy Woman’s Arsenal of Deadly Phrases (en Español por supuesto)
7 Frases Mortales del Arsenal de las Mujeres Gruñones
1. ¿Que pasa? Nada. Estoy bien. What’s the matter? Nothing. I’m fine.
You should know that it’s not nothing, it’s something. And she is not fine so you need to start paddling como un pato puddle duck-stylie under the water to work out what that something is or else Grumpy Woman may never be fine again.
2. !Adelante! Go ahead.
This is not permission, this is a dare. Don’t do it. Or do it, but do it in the knowledge that there will be consequences. And really, how lucky do you feel today punk? If, for example, she is a woman with a screaming toddler and a full shopping trolley telling you ¡adelante! as you sneak in front of her in the checkout queue with your six pack and nachos, be aware that she is committing your every wrinkle to memory so that she may recognise you and run you down in the road at a later date.
3. Está bien. That’s ok.
Just to be clear, it’s not ok. Never think that it is ok. Grumpy Woman is just bidding her time. Lulling you into a false sense of security while she considers how she is going to deal with you. You need to get one step ahead of her. Don’ t ask me how. Erm, flowers? Chocolates? Cake? Babysitting!
4. ¡Haz lo que quieras! Do what you like!
Seriously, don’t. Do what she would like. Not the other thing.
5. Lo que sea. Whatever.
Yup yup yup not listening anymore… she’s going to do whatever the f*ck she likes now. You know that, right? Your input has been gratefully received and ignored. Give it up sweetheart.
6. No estoy molestado. I’m not bothered.
When she very clearly is bothered. This is not a riddle. This is just a classic case of your Grumpy Woman saying it exactly like it is, having first flip-reversed it. Still with me?
7. ¡Vale! Fine!
This is the Grumpy Woman’s stock phrase to punctuate the end of a ‘discussion’. It’s over. Cease and desist. She will use this when she knows that she is right and you need to just stop talking.
Ok, over to any of you cunning linguists out there. I really don’t know if these phrases translate very meaningfully into Spanish, but perhaps there are some better ones out there that I, as a consummate Grumpy Woman, need to know about. What have I missed out? Are there any corkers in other languages that we can add to the arsenal?