Yay. Friday Club is back. As always, thanks to Ella for the inspiration and for being such a lovely host.
Boo. I wanted to write a poem but I quite simply cannot get my shit together so have reverted to good old blog prose. I am absolutely dashing to make the deadline…
Anyway, Bibsey my darling there are a few things that you should know about your father. And I am the woman to tell you.
The man is sock blind. SOCK. BLIND. There are discarded socks in every part of the house and garden just languishing where they may. The fact that you, at the tender age of 16 months, have learned to collect them and deliver them back to him (I asked you to do it once as a joke… I never thought that you would actually do it) is very sweet but you should know it’s not a career path.
You and he are members of a very exclusive little private members club. The Bibsey Wibbler Club.
Activities: garden walks at sundown, secret episodes of Charlie and Lola in English!, mad half hours dancing to techno, eating bacon sandwiches, eating Marmite on toast, eating fried eggs… and the food list goes on, spinning around going “wheeeeeeeeeeee” in the office chair and other such fabulous childish stuff.
Never, ever try to discuss anything important (eg the party you would like him to give you a lift to), or trivial (eg the party you would like him to give you a lift to), with him on an empty stomach (his). For the best results I try to feed him little and often and never discuss the sock problem before breakfast.
He and I met in an Galaxy Asian City far, far away. We met, he was shy, I pulled out every stop, finally I drugged him, we fell in love and had a lot of fun, we had too much fun and sadly but wisely we split. Three continents and over a decade later he was drawn back to me like a moth to a flame (mwhahahahahahaha) we fell right back in love again and we made you my darling. Not immediately of course, but, you know, after we had had some more fun…
You (and your little club) are, without adoubt, the very best thing that has ever happened to him. You make him laugh and you make him cry. And I have no doubt that in the future you will also make him just a little bit cross. But, like all the good Daddies out there, you should know that he loves you with all his heart.
And now pop over to Notes From Home to check out other people’s lists.