Within the ‘Mummy blogging’ universe there are a number of different and overlapping groups. Among them there’s Arty, Foodie, Expatty, Smutty, Geeky, Daddy and Mo*. A glowing subgroup of these comprises the Domestic Goddesses and another, yes you guessed it, the Undomestic Goddesses. The competition is quite hot in both of these categories.
I myself am always tirelessly campaigning for the crown in the latter camp: to be capo di tutti capi of the slatterns. Erm, why? You might well ask. Why make a virtue out of a vice? Why wallow about in and relish your own mediocrity? Because they do say: find something that you are good at, stick at it and try to become ‘best in show’… hmm. Oh, and because I am British, and self-deprecation is my stock-in-trade. It’s inbuilt. Whatever… it’s all grist for the blog right? That’s the attitude.
Anyway, marching on. If we (this merry band of slatterns) were a sorority, instead of being named something like Beta Kappa Pi (totally made that one up before anyone gets all Wikipedia on my arse), we would be Feetup Cuppa Pie.
So my sisters and brothers of Feetup Cuppa Pie, I just thought that I would share with you what is passing for cleaning in my house these days. Today, before I knew what was happening, a baby wipe went (note the passive voice here) from my child’s eggy face, to her sticky hands, to the grubby table and then, yes, from there to the floor. A floor that, in my mind, now no longer needs a mop.
Now that’s what I call cleaning! And of course I feel no judgement here, not on my very own blog. That is the end of my report.
What’s that you say? “UGH! But you don’t even work! And you only have one small child! How is this possible?” To which I say, with regret, that Feetup Cuppa Pie is not the sorority for you.
If on the other hand you say “HUH? That’s nothing. Yet another blog about nothing” I welcome you to the sisterhood. Initiation TBC.
Predictably (because I am such a pleaser) I am unable just to leave it there, and in a fit of not wanting you to think too badly of me, I feel that I must end on a positive note and point out that I am not entirely useless. I have made cakes and sausage rolls.
What have you done recently that has made you thankful that there isn’t a secret webcam in your home? Let’s shine a light on your domestic shortcomings…
BTW if anyone feels the need to stage a ‘How Clean in Your House’ style intervention, please be my guest.
* For a far more comprehensive list visit the amazing Love All Blogs which looks like it went off to a spa during the Christmas break and came back all made over. Great work!