Five things I don’t want my daughter to know about me? Oooo this is a tricky one for the Notes From Home Friday Club Carnival. I have spun my own interpretation of the theme because I realised that the things that I don’t want my daughter to know about me are the things that, despite my blognonymity, I don’t want anyone to know.
So, I have come up with five things that include some facts about this life and this world that one day she will of course discover. But perhaps, in our small little world here in Spain, I can shield her from some of these things for a good while yet.
1. About me – that at school and beyond I was a loudmouthed Tomfool who lacked self-confidence and self-discipline.
2. About my life – that I didn’t really get my act together and go for it. What I feel I should have done as a young woman was to grab life by the balls and really get stuck in. I have drifted in and out of jobs and from place to place, more or less happily, but with no big plan. And as my grandfather used to say “it is always good to have a plan”. I guess what I hope is that my daughter will always allow herself a little time for big dreams.
These two points need a little note: I do believe that if I wasn’t a loudmouthed drifter who lacked drive and personal ambition, I perhaps wouldn’t be where I am and who I am, most notably a Bibsey Mama, today. This I would not change.
3. About the world – it is a beautiful place. This she sees every morning when we take her out for a walk through the orange groves, yet there is so much ugliness out there. Destruction of the environment, famine, war, terrorism, slavery, cruelty… a list that goes on. It won’t be long before she starts to learn about these things and that for most of them their root causes are fear, money, politics and religion. I hope that by example I can teach my daughter to see and strive to protect the beauty in the world.
4. About people – I have been so lucky in life to have a fabulous and supportive family and wonderful friends. I trust that Bibsey will have the same. As her mother, I can only imagine that such a sweet and open little soul will attract many truly beautiful people into her life. However, she will also run up against selfish, cruel and fearful people. Mr B and I will doing our job well if we can bring her up to recognise these people and not to take on any of their shit as her own.
5. About some of the less than wonderful things that I have done – I have of course been a selfish, small-minded cow and have done many things of which I am ashamed and for which I am sorry. We all have and she will too. What matters is how you go forward and with what intent. It is never too late to try to do the right thing. Actions will always speak louder than words.
These are my five things. This is the beginning of her adventure.