S it for Secret Diary
When I was making marmalade the other day I had to dig out my old pregnancy diary to get the recipe. Of course I then had to sit down and have a read. And let me tell you it reads like The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Here is some of the good.
26 November 2009, Granada
…today is 20 week scan day. The anomaly scan – eek. Oh I hope that the little Bibsey (current ridiculous name for the baby) is ok in there. I feel that I am so attached to this little person already. We went to sleep all snuggled up last night with Mr B’s hand on the bump. He said that he could feel a tingling or buzzing – like energy exchanging. I wonder how aware the baby is that there is something outside. That there is outside. That we are here… loving it. I wonder if Mr B’s hand was creating some heat and perhaps Bibs was drawn to it.
So, girl or boy? I hope they can tell us today. Please, please, please just healthy and happy.
27 November 2009, Granada
Morning! Happy, happy, happy to report that all is well with the Lil’ Bibsey and they think that it is probably a girl. And I think that we are going with that… very happy.
Although I can’t wait for the little poppet to arrive, I am enjoying being pregnant and don’t want to wish the time away. I like having her inside me. (I wonder how I will feel when I am enormous) I am also aware that this might be my one and only time and I want to make the most of every bit of it.
It was great when I came down this morning. The fire was still smouldering and had a bit of a log still in it – so I got it going again. So I am having a yummy morning on the sofa in front of the fire. Drinking my coffee (only decaf today) and checking my emails, writing my pages, and then I am going to finish my book. What a life, eh?
Sometimes I feel guilty that I am not doing more to bring money into the house, or that I spend hours in my pajamas or reading or watching iPlayer. And then I have to remind myself of how lucky I am to have left the rat race and that I am expecting a baby in 20 weeks… life will never be like this again. So I should make the most of it… it’s like I have been given a gift of an extended holiday just for my pregnancy.
Here is a list of things that I don’t want to forget about being pregnant:
1. How happy I feel sometimes these days
2. What it is like to have a baby kicking inside you
3. Cuddling in bed at night
4. Having big boobs and a ‘cute’ belly (20 weeks)
5. Not having to do the 9-5 and getting as much sleep as I need
La la la la. Happy, happy, happy. However, the very next day… some of the diary is utterly unpublishable. I even stapled some pages together. I must have done this either to shame nosy parkers into desisting (erm, ‘cos everyone wants to read my diary, right?) or out of good old fashioned shame of myself. I can’t remember. And I haven’t dared to look. Yet.
Thanks for reading. I am blogging my way through the alphabet with a little help from my friends.