Oh, we are so close to the end of the alphabet that I can almost taste it. I am having a Hannibal Lecter moment, yes I am. Anyone fancy coming over for dinner? No?
So anyway, in at no. 25 is You don’t bring me flowers, Babs and The Diamond. Great hair all round wouldn’t you say?
Now, I have no axe to grind here. I am not much of a romantic so I don’t want Mr B to get his knickers in a twist and start worrying that he needs to do anything apart from leave me to it in the kitchen of an evening, follow proper loo seat protocol and not eat all the cooking chocolate when I am planning to bake.
Here is my backing vocal to Babs and the Diamond (you will have to actually imagine it)
You don’t bring me flowers (It’s ok love, just don’t forget the Cava)
You don’t sing me love songs (A fact for which I have always been grateful)
You hardly talk to me anymore
When I come through the door (Sorry darling, did you say something, I was just answering a comment on my blog)
At the end of the day (Actually it would please me quite well if you wouldn’t lurk in the kitchen sniffing in the cupboards while I am trying to cook and blog of an evening. Thanks darling.)
I remember when (It’s on the tip of my tongue)
You couldn’t wait to love me (I really don’t remember this, but then it was a reaaally long time ago wasn’t it?)
Used to hate to leave me (Well you were never keen to get up and out to work in the morning)
Now after lovin’ me late at night (What, after 9.30?)
When it’s good for you, babe (Better make it before 9.30)
And you’re feelin’ alright
Well you just roll over (Don’t take the duvet)
And turn out the light (Sorry, can we keep the light on for a bit, I want to watch Holby City on the iPad)
And you don’t bring me flowers anymore (Darling, just a chilled glass of Cava in the bath will do)
It used to be so natural (Are we talking about nudity?)
To talk about forever (No shaving required then?)
But “used to be’s” don’t count anymore
They just lay on the floor
‘Til we sweep them away (That’ll be my job I expect)
And baby, I remember
All the things you taught me (I wrote them down somewhere, hold on)
I learned how to laugh (#HIGNFY on iPlayer?)
And I learned how to cry (That’ll be the onions)
Well I learned how to love (But have absolutely no expectation on 14 February darling don’t worry)
even learned how to lie (Honest to God, hand on heart, I have not an idea)
So you’d think I could learn
How to tell you goodbye (Here’s the shopping list, will you take Bibsey with you? I could do with a bath)
You don’t bring me flowers anymore (Seriously, I don’t mind if you forget the tomato puree, but please don’t forget the Cava)
Well you’d think I could learn
how to tell you ‘goodbye’ (Honestly, why would I want to?)
You don’t say you need me (But I rather suspect you couldn’t manage without me now)
You don’t sing me love songs (Please don’t)
You don’t bring me flowers anymore… (And that’s OK sweetie, just the Cava, and some peace and quiet in the kitchen…)
OK, I realise that that is twice Babs has appeared in this challenge. And I may have lost my way a bit since the heady days of the letter C, but please bear with me until the end WHICH IS TOMORROW! Yes, I am blogging the alphabet until the bitter f*cking end because I have been locked in a tower with a girl called Rapunzel and neither of us are getting out until I complete the challenge. Thanks for reading.
