Mr B is away and Bibsey is at the childminders. I could almost just leave it there couldn’t I? Just tell you that I’m home alone and post a picture of myself outside on my terrace with a lovely cup of coffee…
Of course I am not going to do that because my blogger’s hands will not be still. If I have a moment to myself I must tell you about it, right? Oh dear. Onwards we go.
So Mr B is away and I am left in charge of myself, Bibsey and the watering. For me this has its upsides and downsides:
On the upside:
- I get moments like this. Sitting in the shade on my terrace, looking out over the mountain with no-one to please but myself. A rare, rare moment indeed. Of course this doesn’t come without guilt. As I think any mother and keeper of mutant dust bunnies will attest, guilt comes ‘as standard’.
- I don’t have to cook dinner if I don’t want to. If I feel like it I can just grab a bowl of cereal and watch some disgraceful telly or gossip on Skype. If I feel like it.
- I get to spend some girly time with my Bibsey. With Mr B away I have had to think just a little bit harder about how we will fill our hours. When it is just the two of us I am more likely to sack-off the washing or the dishwasher and just sit on the rug and play. Of course sometimes this is just knackering, but mostly it has been great. Yesterday afternoon I hit a bit of a knackered wall, but then I had been up letting my hair down the night before at my friend’s birthday party. A mummy can’t have it both ways.
On the downside:
- I have to do all the manly jobs like locking the gate and taking out the rubbish. Oh dear, talk about a gender stereotypical allocation of duties! Me in the kitchen, Mr B on the bins.
- I don’t have to cook dinner if I don’t want to. The flip side of this coin is that I don’t eat. Rubbish.
- We miss Mr B. And Bibsey’s first words every morning have been “Daddy, where are you?”. She seems to have learned the words “Daddy’s in England” but I am not sure that the phrase means much to her. Every time we return to the house after going out she looks for him. I keep telling her – not today, but soon.
- With Daddy gone Bibsey is sticking to me like glue. Very sweet, but drives me slightly nuts especially in the heat. Today there was a very uncharacteristic resistance to me leaving her with the childminder. I gently pushing her away, and she, insistently pushing back. It was then that I realised how much I needed to leave her there and have a little space. It was almost like a physical itch and I could feel a little panic rising at the prospect that I might not get away. A very uncomfortable feeling that I know many will relate to. You see? What did I tell you? Guilt as standard.
So, come home soon Mr B. And I will bake a cake. Or maybe even make another banoffee pie. You will see that I have used the pictures of my last epic pie to tempt you.
What do you get up to when you are home alone?
