Q: What’s the difference between atichoo and bleurgh?
A: A puddle on the floor.
This is just a quickie from Bibsey Mama and another one for the annals of arse (or thereabouts) foolery.
Sickness has been lurking in the house for a week now. First it hit Bibsey, then me and of course inevitably Mr B was laid low also. It has been a messy kind of sick and I have been washing sheets and towels and jim-jams ALL week. I will get to the rugs later.
So, the other night, as I was racing for the downstairs loo (not wanting to wake the little one with the sound of retching), I got caught short in the sitting room and had to throw up in the clean washing basket*. Now I am sure that many of you are familiar with the effects of childbirth coupled with sneezing. And that no amount of Kegels will ever really make it safe to sneeze with confidence again. So, what can I tell you about violent puking and the pelvic floor that you haven’t already imagined or experienced?
I did a full on wee right there on the laminate. Not just a little atichoo of a wee but an extended bleurgh of a wee. A proper cascade. The f***ing indignity. Oh, and just to add insult, I had to throw clean sheets out of the basket in order to puke in it and they had to go straight back in the wash. Collateral damage.
That is all.
What? Not interested you say? Sorry about that. But if I can’t wee on the blog (and on my own sitting room floor), where can I?
*over-sized bright pink bucket – fortunately not faux wicker, but one that holds water if required, unlike me.